The law of gravity effects our body…
We don’t doubt how the law of gravity effects our body… it causes it to sag in places we wish it wouldn’t. In the same way the law of symmetry effects our relationships and marriages! But we would like to deny it!
Some people believe marriages are made in heaven, other suggest… hell. Marriage is just a social contract invented by us to create a stable environment for raising the next generation. Because marriage is part of the social fabric of our world, it must follow the rules of our world… one of which is symmetry.
So, just like there are short and long seasons, there are short term and long term relationships. The short term ones tend to result in break ups, separations and divorces. These shorter ones are not mistakes or failures… as some think, rather they are evolutions for each person; without exception.
“Try to find someone who has divorced who is not wiser and more in tune with themselves and their life.” ~ Ken Pierce ~
100 Relationships or Marriages in any Culture…
In any one hundred relationships or marriages, fifty will be short term and the other fifty will be long term. Twenty-five of the fifty short term ones will remarry and the other twenty-five will stay single. Half of the fifty long term marriages prevail because they like the life style while the other half stay due to religion, security or the children. Culture, politics or the religion don’t matter to this natural law.
Married Legally and Emotionally?
You can pick among your friends and acquaintances those who you perceive are married legally but not emotionally and, in an opposite way, those married emotionally but not legally. This is the natural law of symmetry in action in human relationships.
If you check the divorce research literature, kids of divorced parents do not stick out in any significant way from the rest of the school yard. Over sixty percent of Canadian children will live in a one parent family situation in their life time.
“My parent’s divorce and hard times at school… all those things combined to mold me, to make me grow up quicker. And it gave me the drive to pursue my dreams that I wouldn’t necessarily have had otherwise.” ~ Christina Aguilera ~
The truth about marriage and divorce is a long marriage is no more a success than a divorce is a failure… they are both simply tools of human learning and survival and so both serve human evolution.
21 Specific People…
Within the seven areas of life, there are an infinite number of benefits and drawbacks to divorce as a learning tool of human development. While society focuses on the drawbacks, there is an equal number of benefits which are usually ignored to perpetuate the illusion divorce is bad and marriage is good. To begin dispelling this myth, listed below are twenty – one people from my work who benefited in very specific ways from their divorce(s).
Spiritually: DIVORCE GROWS YOUR CONNECTION TO THE UNIVERSE
Motivated Louise to build her self worth and self confidence.
Motivated Paul to protect himself and stay close to his faith.
Motivated Glen to search out and honor his own special spirit.
Mentally: DIVORCE BUILDS YOUR SELF ESTEEM AND SELF CONFIDENCE
Motivated Daren to build self worth and emotional balance.
Motivated Joanne to assert herself and her own values.
Motivated Shelly to believe she could achieve emotional balance.
Vocationally: DIVORCE DRIVES YOU TO DESIGN YOUR OWN DESTINY
Motivated Mary to seek out her own dream career after retirement.
Motivated Brian to find a balance between his life and work.
Motivated Jackie to create two independent, unique careers.
Financially: DIVORCE COMPELS YOU TO TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR FINANCES
Motivated Louise to start her own successful small business.
Motivated Joanne to secure work and a stable financial future.
Motivated Tom to be more frugal and independent financially.
Socially: DIVORCE PUSHES YOU BACK OUT INTO THE WORLD
Motivated Phyllis to reach out to build new relationships.
Motivated Daniel to be more open and more of a risk taker with friends.
Motivated Diane to establish clearer personal boundaries.
Familial: DIVORCE DRIVES YOU TO APPRECIATE YOUR FAMILY AGAIN
Motivated Dominique to reach out and appreciate her own parents.
Motivated Shawn to rebuild his relationship with his father.
Motivated Norman to make more time for his own family.
Physically: DIVORCE DEMANDS WE TAKE BETTER CARE OF OUR HEALTH
Motivated Vicki to stop smoking and act more health conscious.
Motivated Daren to give more attention to the needs of his body.
Motivated Rita to act more health consciously with eating and exercising.
These 21 benefactors are just a sample. I have the privilege of often seeing how divorce creates important opportunities for each person to grow in self worth and self confidence. I frequently tell couple clients, whether they are married or divorced does not matter because both, in a truthful analysis, are simply learning tools. This can free them to focus on what they want their future to be.
“The strong, sweet, great tasting grounds for a divorce won’t be in your coffee but rather in your mirror!” ~ Ken Pierce ~
So, check out the “Take Away Tool” below to discover how you, or someone you know, has benefited from divorce. If I can assist feel free to contact me.
POINTS TO PONDER AND REMEMBER:
1. Divorce is truthfully just a human learning tool.
2. Divorce is not a failure, nor a long marriage a success.
3. Divorce is a tool we use to learn to appreciate new aspects of our self.
4. Divorce follows the law of symmetry having equal benefits and costs.
5. Divorce enables individuals to grow in very specific and personal ways.
6. Divorce creates benefits in each of the seven areas of life.
7. Divorce is just another evolutionary tool of humanity.
YOUR TAKE AWAY TOOL:
“The Tool for Destroying the Divorce Nightmare”
Step 1: Identify three people in your life who have experienced divorce. (Note: You can also use yourself.
Step 2: Identify at least three specific benefits which you noticed have occurred in their life from their divorce. (Note: You will find these benefits in each of the seven areas of life.
Step 3: You will know you are finished when you can see how the costs and benefits equal out each other and create an mental equilibrium which reminds us to appreciate our life as it is not as we fantasize it should be.