“The idea that everything is purposeful really changes the way you live. To think that everything that you do has a ripple effect, every word you speak, every action you make affects other people and the planet.” – Victoria Moran, writer
“If I don’t get my act together I’m afraid I will lose everything…”
Lacey called me in desperation. She said she was discouraged and very depressed. She had been fired from her nursing job and did not really know why. She was a mother of three young children and couldn’t afford to be unemployed. She said her patients seems to like her a lot and she loved her work. Then she summed up her predicament with the following,
“If I don’t get my act together I’m afraid I will lose everything, both my sanity and my family!”
So, we met the next day. Lacey was a short haired, red head with a quick mind and a nervous energy to match. She was divorced from her children ’s father but had a new relationship with Tim who had encouraged her to get some help with her life. She said Tim told her repeatedly she needed more focus in her life.
I asked her what she thought of Tim’s observation and she replied,
“I get discouraged so easily…I say I’m going to do something and then something happens and I never get to it. It happens all the time. Just the other day I was supposed to go to a parent-teacher interview for my daughter and totally forgot about it.”
“I have no idea what my purpose is…but I do know…”
“Did that occur at work as well, Lacey?” I asked.
“Yes, a few times…I think that’s what really happened …the head nurse raised it in my last two performance reviews and I was so busy juggling my divorce, the kids and everything else that my world started crumbling everywhere and confusion took over my life.” she replied recreating her feelings of despair in front of me.
“Lacey, confusion often appears when we lose focus and direction…you said you love your work…this suggests you are being purposeful by doing it…what is your life purpose…can you put it in a few, concise words for me?”
She looked at me in surprise, “Ken, I have no idea what my purpose is…but I do know I love my work as a nurse!”
“Lacey, every thing has a purpose and every person is on purpose unconsciously. But, since we humans can think about our thoughts, we can put words around our purpose and be aware of it consciously as well.”
“If we’re doing it anyway, why do we need to be aware of it…to have it in words?”
“This give you the tools to run your own life.”
“That’s a very good question, Stacey! In a way, it relates to the confusion you mentioned earlier. When you know your life purpose consciously, you have a clearer direction to you future, more consistent motivation and more decisiveness. Then, you experience much less confusion in your daily life.”
“Ken, are you telling me if I knew my life purpose I’d be more focused, organized and less depressed?”
“Lacey, when you know your life purpose you also know what motivates you, what your values are and what your priorities are. This give you the tools to run your own life.”
“Really?” she replied.
“Really Lacey,…if you don’t run your life, someone who cares about you will try to do it. But they can’t do it because they don’t know you…nobody knows you…ever…becoming more self aware is your full time, life long, job…and you’re an evolving target…a moving, target.”
“…there is a certain freedom and power in that idea!”
Lacey looked surprised again…then she said, “My ex-husband was forever saying he knew me; he knew what I needed; he knew what was best for me…I found it so disrespectful, …and so infuriating!”
Then she added, “It’s nice to hear no one knows me or ever will really know me…there is a certain freedom and power in that idea!”
“Every person has a longing to be significant; to make a contribution; to be a part of something noble and purposeful.” – John C. Maxwell, clergyman
“It has been my experience only empowered people achieve their goals, Lacey! So it is not surprising you succumb to confusion and depression if you haven’t uncovered your life purpose or are using it to direct your life.”
“Ken, how do I uncover it?”
“Lacey, I want to ask you a question first, if I may? Uncovering your life purpose doesn’t make you happy or happier. Uncovering your life purpose doesn’t make life easier,…rather your life becomes more clear, more focused and more decisive…and this creates more gratitude or appreciation for your life. But you will need to be willing to take on the responsibility of this new level of awareness. Are you ready to do that?”
“I know I have to do something different, fast, if I’m going to have a future…”
“Ken, I have felt for so long I was spinning out of control…I think I am ready to be more accountable…I know I have to do something different, fast, if I’m going to have a future…so yes I’m ready!”
“OK, then let’s begin. There are many ways to uncover your life purpose. There are three things you need to know to help make sense of it. First, your purpose is a journey not a destination. Second, it must contribute in some way to our species. And third, since it will be carried out in your future, it must honour and reflect your past. With me so far, Lacey?”
“Yes, I think so…!” she replied.
“I’m going to ask you seven questions which I want you to write down the answers to on a piece of paper….”
“Lacey worked hard at it, daily.”
Lacey did uncover her life purpose and used her new awareness to start to run her own life. She developed a specific detailed six month plan of how she wanted to be in her spirit, in how she viewed herself, in her work, in her financial responsibilities, in her social life, within her family, and of course, in her physical health. Then she wrote down detailed plans for each one and identified what she would have which would demonstrate to her she had achieved her plans.
Lacey worked hard at it, daily. She was diligent, determinate and would not let herself be distracted…always keeping in the forefront, her life purpose. Her depressive behaviours started to dissolve very quickly because she was so focused on purposeful actions and thinking reflecting her new level of awareness.
She remarked one day during one of our consults how what she noticed most was how often she noticed herself appreciating her self, her life and the people in it. She said, ”Uncovering my life purpose and honouring it really was the path out of my depressive behaviours!”
“Everything in the universe has a purpose. Indeed, the invisible intelligence that flows through everything in a purposeful fashion is also flowing through you.” – Wayne Dyer, psychologist
Until Next time…
Remember the next Breakthrough Experience™ Seminar on December 6 & 7, 2014 at our offices. Details are available Here
Send us your feedback and topic suggestions…we love to hear from you! If you have a specific question, feel free to contact me.
Namaste, (I salute the grandly organized design of the universe, manifested in you!)
Further information: www.kenpiercepsychologist.com