“Increasing your awareness of nature’s laws is inevitably the key to personal empowerment.”
– King Ayles, author
“How do you know when you’re done? You know…done therapy?”
Fallon had just turned 35 and had been working with me for a while. Fallon was divorced from her partner, Floyd, who had been abusive. They had two children, Farrah and Frankie, who were 15 and 14 years old, respectively, and living with Fallon.
Fallon had been a police officer but had eventually left the field due to post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) symptoms. She was now in school, well on her way to a new career in social work.
Fallon was a woman of average height, about 5 foot six inches and had retained her excellent fitness level she had acquired from her old career. She was dark haired and projected a lot of energy and intelligence with her quick wit and bantering style of exchange with others.
Her children Farrah and Frankie were typical teens with the common challenges of their school grades and their love lives. They struggled with that common dilemma of children…loving both parents, but not necessarily liking them on some days. But, they were holding their own as they watched their parents grow up at the same time as they did themselves.
Fallon was doing well in school. She had just completed her first semester working towards her on line degree in social work. She was determined and diligent in her studies and I suspect, a powerful role model for her children.
Fallon arrived at her weekly session with a question written all over her face. As she sat down, I asked her the obvious,
“Is there something on your mind, Fallon?”
“How do you know when you’re done? You know…done therapy?”
“The challenge is often to be able to apply it to every area of your life and to every second…of your life.”
“Therapy is done when cause equals effect, in keeping with the laws of nature, especially physics, in this case.”
“And, what does that mean exactly?” she said bantering me with a friendly smile.
“Let me say it another way Fallon, to see if that helps. You’re done, when you can say truly to yourself: ‘I have always been in the perfect place at the perfect time to meet the perfect people to design my own destiny!’” I said slowly.
“That sounds like the idea I learned here that there were no mistakes in my life…is that the same thing, Ken?”
“Yes, you got it exactly, Fallon! The challenge is often to be able to apply it to every area of your life and to every second…of your life.”
“Yeah! That’s a taller order, isn’t it?”
“Yes it is…but maybe you’re there. Do you want to find out?”
“I do!” she said in a slow, serious tone.
“Well…I realize I’m no better and no worse than anyone else.”
“OK. Let’s review each area and get your self evaluation of it, as of this moment. Let’s start with how you see yourself in your own world, right now. Is it accurate to say you appreciate yourself Fallon, as you are?”
“Well…I realize I’m not better and no worse than anyone else. I like me for who I am? I have strengths which I have learned have a cost, and weaknesses which always have a counterbalancing benefit. How does that sound, Ken?”
“Sounds fine to me. Next, in terms of your career, your work, the future jobs you want to pursue in social work, can you see how your next career will be a balance of good and bad things just like your past jobs?”
“For sure! I had a whole course just recently on how to manage your stress and how to balance home and work effectively. So, I’m not naive about the pros and cons of my next career. And, I appreciate now how my police work helped me get to be here today. So, no regrets there either.” Fallon replied.
“How about your finances, Fallon?”
“The process of spotting fear and refusing to obey it is the source of all true empowerment.” – Martha Beck, author
“And, I’m OK with that…I understand why she needs to do it.”
“That’s a tough one for me right now with two kids and going to school. But, I’m managing it OK. And, I’ve really learned to be more frugal, which the kids are learning too. And, that will serve them later as well. So, I’m really OK there.” she said with a small smile of pride on her face.
“Looks like you’re in control of your finances. How about your social life? What is going on there?”
“Well, I used to mostly hang around other cops. But, I’ve met a lot of new people throughout my online courses. So, I have some new friendships developing. And, they are all over the place, geographically I mean. Of my closest new ones, Fay, lives in western Canada and the other one, Finley, in Australia…go figure!”
“You seem satisfied with your social life right now, too. How about your family network? Are you still carrying any unresolved conflicts with some member of your family, Fallon?”
“You know, once I resolved that thing with my sister, Felicia, it cleared up a lot of other stuff. And, even though she is still more distant than I would prefer, I know now she needs to do that to remind herself she’s an independent person. And, I’m OK with that…I understand why she needs to do it.” she said, an insightful look emanating from her eyes.
“What about your children? And, do you have a significant other or an interest in one?
“The kids are doing fine and actually helping me stay focused on my studies by helping out occasionally with keeping the house work done.”
“That must be encouraging at times, eh?” I offered.
“I think we’ll be better co-parents than parents.”
“Yes it is really. As for my own love life, I finalized my divorce with Floyd and we are both moving on. I think we have a more respectful relationship now. And, I think we’ll be better co-parents than parents.”
Then she added,
“I’m not sure I’m ready yet for a new relationship, but when I am, I have a much better idea of what I’m looking for…thanks to Floyd and some other earlier guys I met.
“Sounds smart. What about your personal health, Fallon? How are you doing these days in that area?”
“Well let’s see. I used to be quite fit in my police career, working out regularly. Being in school is a different lifestyle for me. So, I have had to really focus on staying fit with a gym membership and workouts three times a week. But it’s working well. I feel fit and healthy and my doctor has been confirming it.”
“The last is your spirituality…how you see yourself, your spirit, fitting into your world. How are things there, Fallon?”
“Ultimately, so much Dr. Seuss is about empowerment. He invites us to disappear into our imagination and then blows the doors off what that can mean.”- Gary Ross, actor
“It is so empowering and I feel so fulfilled!”
“When I learned my best friend was in the mirror and I started taking advice only from her…it created a big shift in my awareness of who I am, what I want to do and what I want to have in my future. This has been huge for me.”
“Tell more more, Fallon!”
“Well, Ken, it’s like I finally woke up to being me, to pursuing my own dreams. It’s like I’m finally in control of myself and my future. And each day, I sense it in everything I do. I have this energy, this enthusiasm for whatever I put my attention towards.”
“Cool! Where do you notice it most often?” I asked her.
“It’s interesting you ask me that, Ken. I notice it most often in my schooling. I’m so focused and self motivated. And, I have this ability to connect anything I’m doing at any moment, to my purpose.”
“You uncovered your purpose didn’t you. I wrote it in your file.”
I checked her file, where I record a client’s purpose, inside the front cover, for my reference.
“I have it as, ‘Supporting others with my love!’ Does that ring a bell?”
“That’s it exactly! I refer to those five words all the time. When I do, I find a connection to whatever I’m doing and I’m immediately more motivated to get it done. It’s like magic! It is so empowering and I feel so fulfilled.”
“And, that’s exactly how I feel about me…finally in charge of me!”
“Fallon, I think you are done with your work here. You’ve just described how cause equals effect in the seven areas of your life. I don’t get the impression you are carrying emotional baggage about your past any more. I also get the impression you are being purposeful and energized by how you are living your life.”
“Do you mean I’m cured!” she said, laughing out loud.
“It’s worse than that…you have evolved into a stronger and smarter person! Congratulations!” I said smiling.
“Thanks Ken! But, I know the truth as well. I know there are lots of pain and challenges ahead of me in every area. But, at the same time, I feel sort of vaccinated and so prepared mentally for my future.”
“Fallon, I think you are exactly that!”
“Ken, here is the kicker for me. What do you think my name means in Irish?”
“I have no idea. What does it mean?” I said my curiosity piqued.
“It means, ‘in charge.’ And, that’s exactly how I feel about me…finally in charge of me!” she said smiling.
“Fallon…in charge…perfect, eh?” I replied smiling back at her.
“The fact that my environment influences my life so much – and that my environment is in my control – gives me a great sense of empowerment over my health and my life.” – Anne Wojcicki, scientist
Until Next time…
Now you know, you’re done with any kind of psychological assistance when you raise your awareness of how cause equals effect; how what has happened to you enables you to be who you are today; doing what you are doing today; and having what you have today…and you don’t want to change one second of your past…it’s been perfect for you. You have an appreciation or gratefulness for your life as it is…no mistakes!
YOUR NEXT OPPORTUNITY TO UNCOVER YOUR PERFECTION:
“A COUPLES’ TRANSFORMATION DAY”
Saturday, June 17th, 2017
Suite #3 The Pierce Institute Offices
549 North River Road, Charlottetown, PE
Here is your chance to:
- Confirm Your Relationship Commitment!
- Conquer Relationships Challenges!
- Build More Emotional Stability!
- Settle Financial Disputes!
- Create A Social Life!
- Resolve Parenting Issues!
- Reinvigorate Your Intimacy!
So: Invest in YOU! – Invest in your RELATIONSHIP!
Register Today! There are no mistakes, only learning opportunities for your future well being!
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Namaste, (I salute the grandly organized design of the universe, manifested in you!)
Be well…balanced! Ken
Further information: www.kenpiercepsychologist.com