“Transformation literally means going beyond your form.” – Wayne Dyer, psychologist
“I just can’t go on like this!”
Tammy sat down in my office, out of breath. She was of average height, about 5 feet five inches…but carried a large donut around her middle. As we got acquainted she told she has recently been diagnosed with a heart problem…but it was being treated with medication…as if that solved it.
Tammy was married to Henry, a carpenter. They had three adult children and two grandkids…so far. Their kids, and grandkids, were spread evenly, all across Canada… Montreal, Winnipeg and Vancouver, but she said they visited every chance they got.
Tammy worked as a bank teller, and was very active in her community. She loved to volunteer…to help others in need. She served on her community council and with the local branch of the Red Cross. When I asked her how I might serve her, she replied,
“I’m depressed, I’m sick, and I’m angry…and, I just can’t go on like this!”
I replied, “Tammy, it sounds like you have a lot going on that’s stressing you. Let’s focus for a minute on your biggest challenge today…what would that be?”
“…some researchers said belly fat was more dangerous than overall body fat…”
“On the news this morning, some researchers said belly fat was more dangerous than overall body fat…in other words, a beer belly is more deadly than being obese…just look at me, Ken…I could be a display poster for that situation…I’m really scared!”
“So, you are most worried about your health right now! How do you see me assisting you with that, Tammy?” I asked.
“I want to lose weight, and I want to lose it fast. And, since I’ve already tried all the diet programs, my friend Betty said, I needed to change my approach. So, here I am!” she replied, resolutely.
“Tammy, I can help you get more healthy, if you are willing to learn so new ideas, and some new tools. Would you be agreeable to that?” I asked.
“Ken, I’m desperate! I’ll do whatever it takes to get my life back in my own hands. Where do we start?”
“Life is a moving, breathing thing. We have to be willing to constantly evolve. Perfection is constant transformation.” – Nia Peeples, musician
“You can’t lose weight…no one, can lose weight!”
“Let’s start with a vitally important idea for your future. You can’t lose weight…no one, can lose weight! But, you can learn to transform some of your weight into another form which respects your value for your health.”
“Do you mean it’s futile for me to try to lose some weight? What are you saying, then?” she asked, stifling her growing frustration.
“Tammy, you already know if you cut your food intake in half, and doubled your daily exercise, you would, over time, be transforming some of your weight into another, more healthy, form? Is that not correct?”
She paused, looked down at her hands, looked up at the picture over my desk, and said, “Yes, I know that’s true…but the tough part is persisting with that kind of stuff!”
“Exactly! But, you just demonstrated an awareness of one key to transforming your weight…persistence! What would motivate you to persist in such an endeavour, Tammy? It would have to be something very high in your values, eh?”
“I guess that’s what brought me here today…my fear of illness and death!” she replied with trepidation in her voice.
“Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success.”
– Napoleon Hill, financier
“Your brain strives to fill in any perceived gaps.“
“Tammy, if we perceive we have lost something, then we, unconsciously, look to find it, or replace it. However, if we have transformed something, there is no interest, or need, to restore it…so we don’t.”
Then I added, “For example, if you lost your purse, you would go find it, or replace it, and, as soon as possible. Your brain strives, unconsciously, to fill in any perceived gaps. But, not with a transformation. This change in perspective is the second key to transforming weight. And, it can be the difference which makes the difference, in moving toward health.”
“So, you’re saying, if I stop talking to myself, and others, about losing weight, and instead, talk to myself, and others, about transforming my weight, I will be evolving myself, instead of revolving myself, through another diet program…is that it, Ken?”
“Tammy, that was beautifully worded! That’s what I’m talking about!” I replied, smiling.
“Then, how do I find what would motivate me to start transforming my weight?” she asked.
“The art of love is largely the art of persistence.”
– Albert Ellis, psychologist
“Every one of us has just the weight we need, right now, to ensure…”
“There are two things we need to do. First, we need to identify your values and their order of importance to you. And, second, we need to uncover the connections between your highest values and transforming your weight. With that level of awareness, then you can make the changes you need to have a more healthy future! Are you ready to start that work, right now, Tammy?”
“I sure am, Ken! Where do we begin?” she asked, with the first enthusiasm I had seen so far.
And, that’s the work Tammy did. Tammy uncovered her highest values, and was surprised to find out her health, was actually more important to her, than her family, right now. She realized, unless she put her own well being before everyone, and everything else, she wouldn’t be around to appreciate any of them.
Tammy found clear connections between being more healthy, and her other values of family, home and work. As she uncovered the links, it became, not easy, but easier, to make the transformations in her perceptions of herself, her life to create the transformed life-style needed to achieve a more healthy body weight. Over the next twelve month, her evolution was remarkable, not just in her appearance, but equally in her self esteem, and self confidence.
One day, near the end of our work together, she said, “I’m frequently reminded of you saying, there are no mistakes…only learning opportunities. The other day, I realized when I started doing this work, I was actually at the perfect weight for me, at that point in time, to motivate me to move past my depressing and take better care of myself, eh?”
“Yes, that’s exactly it! Every one of us has just the weight we need, right now, to ensure we are who we need to be, doing what we need to do, and having what we need to have, for our own future.”
“When someone chooses to value herself over the things she can buy, true transformation begins.” – Suze Orman, author
Until Next time…
Now you know you have the perfect weight to motivate you to learn, what you need to learn, for your future. If you appreciate it, you can transform it into other forms which honour your highest values. The two keys to transforming it are persistence and clear connections between a healthy weight, and your highest values in life.
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Our next seminar, “A Transformation Day!” will focus on relationships. It will be on Saturday, November 24, 2015 at our offices. Details are available at ww.kenpiercepsychologist.com
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Namaste, (I salute the grandly organized design of the universe, manifested in you!)
Further information: www.kenpiercepsychologist.com